What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality.
What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!'.
What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no wait - 14 seconds, no wait......
The accountant's prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.
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