WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It
has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the
carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the
carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is.
I'll check it
out.
Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.
Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 
Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat - to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going back there?"
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.
Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along? They only run a skeleton service.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |