An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane
when
the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having
mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is
for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can
survive"
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman
takes a deep
breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and
jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and
he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo" and
he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of
the plane.
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns.
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Does killing time damage eternity?
"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"
Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns.
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Does killing time damage eternity?
"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"
Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |